đź’•childcare
Anonymous User
9 months ago
Night nurses
My wife is due in June and we are considering getting a night nurse. Any specific questions we should ask or points to consider when interviewing different night nurses?
Anonymous
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9 months ago
@Ethan Arpidid a great write-up on his experience as well here
https://www.therecess.app/home/view-post/7PlHrG0Wvxvzmfe0kfHl
Anonymous
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9 months ago
Thanks for sharing. We’re already pretty set on the idea of having a night nurse. More about questions to ask the different potential night nurses. We received a handful of referrals.
Anonymous
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9 months ago
Ahh yes, wanted to make sure you had that for reference. In terms of questions I'm going to lean on@Ethan Arpihere as well!
Anonymous
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9 months ago
Hey ,[object Object], - Congrats on the pregnancy! There's two types of questions you'll want to ask. Making sure the baby nurse is a good fit and gets along with you and your wife is the MOST important thing. It's super stressful having a new baby, emotions are high, everyone is exhausted so its important that you really trust and vibe with the person you're bringing in. Since you've already had a baby, you probably have a bunch of ideas about bath time, bottle warmers, etc. and you'll want to make sure she's willing to do things your way. For example, the bottle warmer makes the night nurses job easier but makes your job harder once she leaves. Is she okay not having a bottle warmer? Does the night nurse do 12 hours or 24 hour or are they flexible? We experimented with both and found that 12 hours was so much baby. t 24 hours, the night nurse starts to get sleep deprived and that creates its own dynamic. But at 12 hours, what obligations do you have for them? Do they need a meal? At 24 hours we needed to provide meals which also made things harder. Do they need a cot to lay on in the baby's room or is a reclining chair fine? My friend ,[object Object], just went through an extensive process hiring someone and had someone drop out so there could be some things to share. ,[object Object], and@Julie Andress
Anonymous
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9 months ago
I had a postpartum doula so a little different, but something I wish we had spent more time on is really outlining our goals / what we wanted from support folks (sounds cheesy, but stay with me!) - I wish we had spent time talking about and imagining what exactly it would be like to have help overnight, and then frame questions around that. So, like, our apartment is super small, but I never asked how my doula would manage in the small space / we would all just exist together. Also, I'd make sure you're on the same page about things like formula.
Anonymous
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9 months ago
Besides making sure this is someone you feel comfortable taking care of your newborn, I’d mostly focus on 1) how open they’re going to be to doing things how you want & being flexible (your opinions may change over the course of the arrangement) — probably the biggest thing to be on the lookout for is how helpful / supportive they’re going to be of your wife trying to nurse at night if that’s something she wants to do (lots of night nurses are into mom getting as much rest as possible) and per Kelsey, whether you’re aligned on formula. 2) check on their schedule / jobs after yours - lots of night nurses stack up jobs, which makes sense, but also means if the next baby comes early you will need to make another arrangement (you should ask whether they’d help you find someone). 3) vibes- as Ethan said this person will be in your house for a lot of time during an intense and vulnerable period — will you feel like you’re hosting and need to make sure they’re taken care of, or will they make you feel taken care of? Will they be a positive presence?, 4) professional expectations/logistics: we had one night nurse who slept during her shift and took a shower before leaving, and another who came in scrubs, stayed up the whole shift, and let us sleep till 5 min before she was leaving. Try to get a sense for professionalism and also what they’ll do while the baby’s sleeping (probably they’ll be on their phone - but will you hear it? Or will they have headphones?)
Anonymous
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9 months ago
Another thing - we checked references and I think you absolutely should do that. But also I’d keep in mind especially with new parents that this is their first experience with a caregiver, AND people are so so happy to be sleeping at night, you may need to dig to get more constructive feedback. We hired someone who people were VERY positive about, but her references had slight holdbacks about the friction that came with providing dinner and also some asks for advances - these didn’t seem like dealbreakers, but once we actually hired this person I realized how hard it is to be managing friction of any kind when things are already hard.
Anonymous
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9 months ago
Hi Ben, we are expecting this spring, so I can’t say I know what works, but here are a few thoughts:
—Book several months in advance, otherwise rates go up
—Be sure to figure out how long you need them for, hours per night, and compensation/budget, and what they expect (food, travel, other fees, etc)
—it’s great to sign a contract in advance if you can
—We were generally wanting someone who would “tell us what to do” and had a clear sense of their approach, especially in terms of leaving us with skills we can take with us going forward
—Check references. We also asked the references for references so we could be doubly sure. Preferably the references are relatively recent