📚education
Anonymous User
29 days ago
Stressing about schools
I could really use some perspective from other parents who’ve been through this. My daughter is almost 4 and absolutely thriving in her Montessori preschool. She’s happy, curious, loves her teachers, and genuinely looks forward to going every day (eh most days). So in shower we’re really content there, but now I’m starting to spiral because of the conversations I keep having with other parents in my neighborhood.It feels like everyone is talking about “the right” private pre-K programs that feed into the “right” elementary schools, which then lead to the “right” middle and high schools. I wasn’t planning to move her, but now I’m second-guessing myself because people keep saying that if you don’t get into the system now, it’s much harder to get in later, especially since the public schools here aren’t great past elementary. I hate the idea of pulling her out of a place where she’s thriving just because of what everyone else is doing, but I also don’t want to regret not making the switch if it closes doors for her later. Has anyone else dealt with this dilemma, and how did you decide what to do?
Anonymous
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28 days ago
Can’t say I’ve been there with my kiddo yet, but commiserating as we’re starting to ask ourselves similar things. It’s honestly such a hamster wheel, and so easy to perseverate on other people’s opinions, but it stands out to me that you repeatedly say your daughter is thriving. And that’s no small thing! It’s so important! It can be so tempting to optimize for the very best (or what we think will be), when what we have is actually pretty great. The public schools by us are also notorious in this region to be some of the less resourced and less high performing schools, and it’s infuriating that if we lived just a few blocks away, we would be zoned for a district with very different schools. I hate that anywhere is this inequitable. That said, my siblings all grew up and graduated in this district, and I did until going to a private high school. Like, in that era none of us even went to preschool. We’re all fine—excellent careers and families, happy, pretty involved in our communities, had ways to be challenged and find our niches at school when we were there. We had loving, supportive parents, and I know my daughter will too, and it sounds like your daughter will too. My family held us to high standards and set positive models for us. And school is one part of the equation, but I think that support and presence really make a difference. Is this a different world (and school district) than it was 15 or 20+ years ago? Sure. But I also don’t know if any of our lives would’ve been that much better if my parents had jumped on the private school thing sooner than my HS years, had to work more to pay for things than they and my siblings and I already were. That said, I try to remind myself of all that to keep things in perspective, but it also truly feels different being on this side of the action, looking at a life where I have more resources and privilege than my parents did and am making decisions on behalf of my own child. It’s never easy to make those calls, but it does sound like your child is thriving and happy, and whatever call you make is coming from the place of care that matters most.
Anonymous
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22 days ago
Echoing this response entirely, the thing that stood out to me in your post was that she is happy and thriving! Don’t second guess your gut - I always think doing what is best for your child NOW and sometimes taking their lead based on their disposition is the best way to make decisions for their future x