🔮advice
Anonymous User
5 months ago
Anxiety
Greetings. First time parent.
Fellas. Just wondering if you are in the same boat as me. Single income family, constant anxiety about how everything is falling on you financially, having to do overtime at work to make sure you can afford everything the baby needs, nervous what will happen on the unlikely chance you will lose your job, etc
Anonymous
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5 months ago
In the same boat over here. The way I've been managing it is staying focused on the things that really matter. Before my wife was pregnant I had the luxury of doing lots of things that I wanted, which was great. Things were mostly about me. But now I'm much more focused on being the provider. It makes me anxious at times but I also like how it gives my life purpose and focus. Like people really depend on me so I need to show up for them. I've talked to my wife about going back to work after the baby. And it's an open conversation. Right now the plan isn't to have her go back but I appreciate that she's open to it if that's what's needed.But hang in there. Being anxious just means you care and you're taking your responsiblity seriously.
Anonymous
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4 months ago
I half relate here, though I am admittedly one-half of what will be a dual-income household.
The part I relate to is what I'll call the "confidence gap" about income vs expenses. That was something we dealt with long before my wife got pregnant, and would likely continue today (probably in an even more severe way) had we not found a way to do something about it.
That "something" was a PFM app, which helped me/us separate the actual financial picture - which can be informed and shaped by data! - from my sense / the vibe of it. We're now basically power users of the platform (Monarch). It's our single place for visibility into all of our accounts + balances, it's where we budget and plan annual goals, etc. And, as it relates to baby, it's also where we can see the spikes in cost that are coming (doctors, stuff, etc.). And even though paying for him is daunting, seeing specific numbers and being able to plan around them is much more doable than trying to get over an unknown, unspoken, but ever-present source of anxiety ("can I afford [[xx]]?").
Not sure if y'all have an app, spreadsheet, or some other system like this in place, but it helped us get over the heart of this issue earlier in our marriage. If you want to check out Monarch, DM me (I think that feature exists?), I have a referral code that I can send you which makes the first year pretty cheap.
Anonymous
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4 months ago
I’m in the same boat. Shall we start a group? Haha
Anonymous
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4 months ago
My message cut off a bit early. I have a lot of thoughts on this and perhaps some perspective. How’re you holding up?